josiahfiles:

kidnap 100 children and lock them up for weeks and kill ten of them.

release the rest. only 90 kids will remember this

captainamericass:

my friend thought macaroni and cheese was spelled as “macaronian cheese” for his whole life

nuditea:

if you just walked into a club and the floor was super slippery and people had strapped knives to their feet and were jumping around you’d be like “holy shit, i don’t know if this is the environment for me” and yet skating is a thing

arcticblackeys:

fallarbor-town:

in 7th grade i went to the see a movie with a boy and in the middle of it he was like “do you wanna kiss” and i was like “excuse me” and he pulled a bag of hershey’s kisses out of his coat

DO YOU REALIZE WHAT A GOOD BACKUP PLAN THAT IS

finefools:

justin timberlake is making a comeback and justin bieber is finally at his breaking point. coincidence? no. there can only be one justin. 

burgrs:

i thought i left my ipod in the theater so we went back to look for it and i couldn’t see so i turned on my ipod to give me some light so i could find my ipod do u see where this is going because i did not 

ericandy:

during a history exam once one of the questions was “How was Stalin buying time from Hitler to prevent him attacking the Soviet Union?” or something and I wrote “he was stallin’”

halfway through grading them the next day my teacher started laughing really quietly and she had to eject herself from the classroom for five minutes

she marked it as correct